I used to think this was just how women got things done. You know…Super Mom and all that. Your body’s exhausted, but your brain decides it’s your job to fix all life’s problems…NOW. As if!
I see you over there…snuggled under the covers, then your eyes pop open at 3 a.m. You remember the email you forgot to answer, wonder whether you paid that bill, replay something awkward you said in the checkout lane two years ago, and start feeling guilty about Christmas shopping.
Meanwhile, your husband is sleeping like a baby — a snoring baby!
WHY DO WE DO THIS?!
If you’re a woman in midlife, that probably sounds painfully familiar. But not all sleep problems are created equal — it might be stress, hormones, or something physical you haven’t even realized. And sleep isn’t just downtime: it’s when your body repairs, regulates hormones, and resets you emotionally.
When sleep is disrupted night after night, it shows up everywhere: irritability, trouble concentrating, cravings, daytime exhaustion, and feeling overwhelmed by things that normally wouldn’t bother you.
A few bedtime tips for when sleep doesn’t come easily
I can’t fix every cause on that list. But over the years, I’ve learned a few things, so if you want to talk, I’m here. And maybe I can point you in the right direction for some answers.
Also, I’ve built a simple midlife sleep routine out of a few supplements and tea, some quiet practices, and my favorite Young Living essential oils, — and it’s made a real difference in how my nights go. Here’s what it looks like…
The Wind Down
My evening routine actually starts about an hour before bed. Screens go off — phone included — because light and stimulating content keep my brain alert long after I’ve put them down. I dim the lights, put on soft music, and let the house get quiet. The busy part of the day is over, and I’m teaching my body that on purpose.
Most nights, that wind-down includes prayer or a few minutes in Scripture. And if my brain is rehearsing tomorrow, I write the list down on paper. Get it out of my head and onto the page — I don’t have to solve tomorrow’s problems tonight.
There’s real science behind why scent belongs in this hour, too — I wrote about it in Scent, Science, & the Sleeping Brain.
A Steamy Bath or Foot Soak
When the evening allows, my favorite off-switch is a warm bath or foot soak with Young Living oil-infused bath salts. There’s something about a soak that tells my whole body the day is done. Then it’s a warm robe and straight to bed — no wandering past a screen or the kitchen on the way. (If you want recipes, start with my Dreamy Bath Recipes — or the ‘Detox Rocks’ Home Bath Soak.)
What I Take at Night
I rotate some of these at times, as the needs and seasons change, but these are my choices…
Deep Night Essence™ is my nightly supplement of choice. It’s melatonin-free and made for daily use, formulated to support relaxation and a restful night, with holy basil, lemon balm, and lavender. I take two capsules before bed. (Lavender has a story all its own, by the way — see God’s Gift of Lavender.)
ImmuPro is the chewable I take often. It brings immune support plus a bit of melatonin, so it does double duty for me at night. Because it contains melatonin, I read the label and use it as directed.
CortiStop® works the other end of the day. It’s designed for women, to support the glandular system and the body under stress — and since a stressed, wired brain is what starts this whole story, supporting my body during the day is part of how I sleep at night. I follow the label directions, including its rhythm of eight weeks on, then a break.
I’ve written before about what stress does to a family in Stress and the Family: A Deadly Combination — it’s not a small thing.
Super Magnesium™ is the inside of my magnesium routine. Magnesium supports more than 300 functions in the body — including a calm nervous system and restful sleep.* Young Living’s version is sourced from seawater, with a melon juice concentrate that helps the body use the magnesium efficiently.*
Take one capsule three times a day. (The mist I put on my legs at night is the outside of that routine — more on it in a minute.
The Oils on My Nightstand
Peace & Calming® is the diffuser blend for my wind-down hour — Ylang Ylang, Orange, Tangerine, Patchouli, and Blue Tansy. Gentle and sweet. It’s a favorite at my grandchildren’s bedtime, too, not just my own. (I gave this blend its own article, too: Peace & Calming.)
Stress Away™ is for the overdrive brain: Lime, Vanilla, Copaiba, Lavender, and Cedarwood. I diffuse it, roll it on, or wear it as a fragrance when my thoughts won’t slow down.
RutaVaLa Roll-On goes on my wrists, neck, or temples right at bedtime — Ruta, Lavender, and Valerian. Honest report: the scent is not my favorite. But it works for me, so it has earned its place on the nightstand. (Some people love it enough to wear it as perfume!)
Vetiver is my powerhouse — earthy and grounding, like an early-morning walk through a green forest. I nicknamed it my “Anti-Psycho Chick” oil during my adrenal fatigue season — a season I told the whole story of in My Journey Overcoming Adrenal Fatigue. James is not allowed to use that nickname.
If you want more on this one, I wrote a whole piece on Quieting the Mind with Vetiver. And if you like a spritz on the pillow itself, my Sweet Dreams Pillow Spray is an easy little DIY.
One More Thing — From My Other Shop
My last step most nights isn’t Young Living at all. It’s a few spritzes of Dead Sea Magnesium Mist from my own Thorn & Thistle Apothecary on my legs and feet while I’m winding down, sometimes with body butter layered over it. The one I reach for is Ancient Calm, scented with frankincense and lavender, but you may want to try the unscented and just add your own essential oils!
And, as always, I’ll be honest with you, if you have an actual magnesium deficiency, research hasn’t established that topical magnesium reliably raises magnesium levels in the blood, so keep that in mind.
I like the topical because it relaxes me — and relaxing bedtime practices are half the answer to good sleep.
So, Tonight
You don’t need all of this at once. Start where you are: Are you wired at bedtime? Waking at 3 or 4 AM? Sleeping eight hours and still waking exhausted? Pick the part of the routine that speaks to your pattern, try it for a couple of weeks, and notice.
Want everything in one place? I keep my hand-selected bundle of sleep resources linked on my Sleepy Surrender page — and if you’d like help choosing where to start, I’m happy to help you figure that out.
Sleep well, friend. You were never meant to carry tomorrow before tomorrow arrives (Matt. 6:34).
