Preparing a Romantic Sanctuary

DISCLAIMER: God designed the marriage bed to be exciting, beautiful, exhilarating, and EXCLUSIVE! My husband and I have often told those we’ve counseled, “Christian couples should have the most passionate, fun bedrooms in the world!”

That’s why this portion of my website is here. I want to help women experience the breathtaking joy of godly sexual intimacy! While these articles are written for married women, and I’ve tried to be as discreet as possible, please enter at your own risk.

A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, that lies all night between my breasts. (Song of Solomon 1:13)

I love our bedroom. Not just because it’s been freshly remodeled (though I love that too!); but also because it’s a place of beauty and intimacy – a quiet retreat from the world for “just the two of us.”

I realized recently that, too often, we women spend more time planning dinner than we do planning a night of bonding with our husbands. And then we wonder why we’re having “hamburger helper” love making instead of filet mignon! Throw out the fast food intimacy and let’s do it right!

Use the Five “P”s to get your “love nest” ready for a night of bliss!

  1. Pristine! Declutter your space! Your room doesn’t have to be Pinterest-worthy, but it can be neat and tidy. Dirty laundry and a pile of bills on the dresser are not considered aphrodisiacs. No, really.
  2.  Purify! Make sure your love nest is spic and span! Dust the furniture, clean the master bath, mop the floors, and make sure the sheets are fresh and clean! I recommend Young Living’s essential oil-based Thieves Household Cleaner. You certainly don’t want an awful chemical smell in your sanctuary of love!
  3. Pump! Flirt with him! Create anticipation during the day with notes, texts, and even brief whispers reminding him of what’s in store! If you get to see him during the day, make sure those brief touches count! If possible, give him an enticing foretaste of the sensual pleasures to come. Get creative! Let him dream about the evening ahead!
  4. Primp! Take a shower or bath, do your hair, lipstick, etc. Put more effort into getting ready for your sweet husband than you do anyone else! Use your favorite (or his) “bedroom oils” on your thighs, neck, and under your navel. Ask him if he wants to inhale a little sample…kind of like an appetizer.
  5. Prepare! Here’s where it gets fun! Find a pretty candy or tidbit bowl and put a tsp. of a carrier oil inside (I suggest avocado or sweet almond).Mix in your favorite essential oils for intimacy and place beside the bed for later. (I’ve included recipes below, but you could also use one of Young Living’s pre-mixed blends) 
    All you’ll need to do is reach over and dip your hand into the bowl – no distractions! Your bedside oils can be used for a full body massage, lubrication, or “intimate massage.” Live a little!

I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the lock. (Song of Solomon 5:5)

The Brain and Emotional Bonding

Most “sensually inspiring” essential oils work in part by initiating a warm sensation, stimulating the body, and arousing passion with their rich, exotic aroma of spicy or floral notes.

The custom of scenting the bed chamber is an ancient one that goes back thousands of years! The exotic aroma and sensations of essential oils will help make the marriage bed an aromatically rich, exciting, and pleasing experience for you both!

“I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon…” (Proverbs 7:17)

Historically, the euphoric properties of oils like ylang ylang, myrrh, sandalwood, rose, and patchouli have been used to enhance intimacy aromatically and topically.

Myrrh, which in my opinion smells best when blended with other oils, is mentioned seven times in the Song of Solomon! Is it any wonder that some believe Myrrh can help support better balance and enhanced intimacy? Because of its viscosity, it also helps extend the scent of other oils.

Intimacy, and especially climax, causes the release of oxytocin, an important hormone in the brain—a hormone that is known to promote emotional bonding. Nursing mothers even bond with their babies because of this hormone, which is also released during lactation.

This fact, combined with the way essential oils effect the limbic system of the brain, the area that controls emotions and stores memories, turns essential oils into a powerful and influential tool— even a protection—for the marriage bed! Treasure and enjoy these precious drops of joy in a bottle! You won’t be sorry!

A Valentines Day tip for wives only… from James and Stacy McDonald on Vimeo.

I hope these tips have been helpful! Here are a few recipes you can try, but be creative and experiment with what you like best!

Melt in His Arms Diffuser Blend

  • 6 drops black pepper
  • 2 drops bergamot
  • 1 drop Ylang Ylang

Hot Summer Nights Massage Oil

  • 1 tsp. carrier oil
  • 6 drops sandalwood
  • 3 drops frankincense
  • 2 drops orange
  • 1 drop ylang ylang
  • 1 drop myrrh

Exotic Nights Intimacy Rub (for massage or lubrication)

  • 1 tsp. sweet almond or avocado oil
  • 6 drops black pepper
  • 3 drops sandalwood
  • 3 drops Young Living Sensation Blend
  • 1 drop bergamot

Fire and Ice Intimacy Rub (for massage or lubrication)

  • 1 tsp. sweet almond or avocado oil
  • 5 drops Three Wise Men
  • 3 drops black pepper
  • 3 drops peppermint
  • 2 drops Ylang Ylang
  • 1 drop myrrh

Other Suggested Oils for romance:
These oils can be used for various purposes – and some can be applied neat (undiluted), but when in doubt, dilute and massage! But everyone is different, so always have a carrier oil handy in case an essential oil proves to be too spicy for either of you.

  • Mister
  • Golden Rod (um…this oil speaks for itself!)
  • Sandalwood
  • Cypress
  • Idaho Blue Spruce
  • Shutran (if this is the only blend you get for him, you won’t be sorry!)
  • Black Pepper
  • Peppermint
  • Lady Sclereol
  • Sensation
  • Vetiver
  • Gratitude
  • Three Wise Men
  • Ylang Ylang
  • Black Pepper
  • Peppermint

CLICK HERE for more on the art of intimate touch.


To get started using therapeutic-grade essential oils with your family, I recommend purchasing Young Living’s amazing Premium Starter Kit & get personalized help from me! Click here to shop!

By the way, I am not a doctor – just a mom who uses essential oils in her own family. Please know that any information provided on The Common Scents Mom is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to prescribe, diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, nor replace current medical treatment or drugs prescribed by your healthcare professional. The statements made have not been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). It is your responsibility to educate yourself and address any health or medical needs you may have with your physician. Please seek professional help when needed.

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